I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
