my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
we made out on top of his cat.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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