dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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