i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
