wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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