omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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