It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
