Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
and she was petting her beer can
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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