I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize