if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
