i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
