he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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