he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
