it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
