my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
