how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
