Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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