I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Never underestimate the power of titties
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
