If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize