you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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