Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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