That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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