so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
