marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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