Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
