Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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