would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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