is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
