that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
