after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
