there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
