I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
this hospital has no fireball
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
