So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The dick lei will go down in squad history
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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