We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My friends, they love my intelligence
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
