She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
