I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
