pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
