I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
