very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
