just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
