it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
my shit smells like andre
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
