I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
