Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
They are going to name an STD after you.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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