Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
