Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
