Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Of course I have a pirate flag
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
