Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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