hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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