Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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