My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
