the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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