the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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