You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
