sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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