first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
