gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize