who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
