im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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