Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
