Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
