You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
