This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
