You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
