I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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