it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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